Tired...But Thank You, Lord!

This one will be short today.

I was gonna let go and discuss how weary in spirit, mind, and body I was.  But then, I just started to say: Thank You.

I'm not homeless.  I'm not starving.  I have a car to drive.  I have the use and activity of my limbs. The blood is yet running warm in my veins. I am in my right mind. None of my loved ones called to say they were sick or dying. I have a job. I have people that love me. After each one of those statements, I said - "Thank You".

Walter Hawkins had a song called "Thank You", and it's the chorus that is helping change my perspective today:

It could have me (Thank You)
Outdoors (Thank You)
With no food (Thank You)
And no clothes (Thank You)
Without a friend (Thank You)
Or just another number (Thank You)
With a tragic end (Thank You)
But You didn't see fit (Thank You)
To let none of these things be (Thank You)
'Cause everyday by Your Power (Thank You)
You keep on keeping me (Thank You)
And I wanna say - Thank You Lord for ALL You've done for me.

You may not be in the best of circumstances and situations.  Everything may look like it's going south.  People, things, whatever may bring stress to your life. You may feel as if no one understands.  But in all of these things: God is bigger than all of it.  Begin to say "Thank You" for the good, the bad, the ugly, the in-the-meantime and the in-between times, the up, the down, the SIDEWAYS.

Thank you, Lord for ALL of it. And I praise You for it.

Watch the day get better.

Stay In Your Lane...pt 2

I think I said in part 1, there would be a part 2 coming...

Here it goes:

To the daft and entitled young man that works in my CSR department, who feels that just because he's next in line to become a Sales Representative, he can do whatever the hell he feels he wants to because HE'S. ABOVE. THE. LAW.

Brown-nosers and kiss-assers deserve their own reserve seat in HELL!!!

STAY. IN. YOUR. LANE!!!

Just a'cause you want the privilege of becoming the next Sales Rep, does not give you the RIGHT nor the PLACE to just treat people any ol' kinda way!

Throwing people under the bus - NOT COOL!

Always running to do things fast and first - PETTY!

Calling yo' mama to bake cookies because I've always ordered them for the sales meeting:  HOW OLD ARE WE, 3????

Snitching - well, y'all know the rule about snitches....

When you came here 2 years ago, we were friends. You listened, you asked questions, you respected the position that I was in and learned from me.  2 years into it, and you wanna act like you're my manager, and tell me what I should be doing, all the while, you're knifing me in the back???

"Be careful who you step on up your ladder of success, you can meet them same people on the way down."  My own addition: "and we'll watch you fall...with a smile."

You are hereby awarded the "TANK" award - for bulldozing your way into a position and running over the WRONG people to get there! KUDOS to you!

I'm. Just. Saying.

A Change Gon Come...

I'm quoting a song today, from the incomparable Ms Tamela Mann:

There's a place in God where we all can be free

A place where God can get the best out of me

There's a secret place in God where He covers me

Never knew my heart could feel again

Never knew the pain would let me stand

Never thought my tears could go away

Till I found Jesus, I never thought I'd be in this place

Oh, I'm glad I'm living my life in this place

- - "This Place" Tamela Mann

This is the song that I listened to on my drive into work. It's one of those songs that will slip up and have you lifting your hands and praising HIM for where you are now rather than where you were before.

I believe that God is about to make some MAJOR changes in my life.  I've been caught in this loop of "lose, gain, lose more, gain less, lose again, gain nothing - except wisdom on what NOT to do."

In order to change the pattern, I gotta change something about me.

I always wanted to get a tattoo (right shoulder blade) that said "Daughter of Heaven, you must never forget - what you focus on, is what you get."

I have a couple of book ideas and a screenplay somewhere inside of me.  And I am determined to get them out.  Thank God I gotta friend (hey Jian!) who is making sure that I keep the writing bug going (btw-did you practice? XD).

My mind is focused on this blog.  This is my effort at keeping the creative juices flowing.  This is how I know change is coming: I want it.  I've never been here in this place.  Jian said something last night that hit HOME: "I'm tired of mediocrity."  Amen, sir. Amen.  

It's been a long-time coming...and I know, this time, Imma get it right...and the change will come.

Adulting...Win?

This will be a very short post today.

My current situation is in Mickey D's with the 2 yr old....and we are at an impasse.

He wants ice cream.

I want him to finish his nuggets.

There is, obviously a breakdown in communication.  However, he has made very plain, his dissatisfaction with the fact that he. Does. Not. Have. Ice. Cream.

No, he isn't crying.
No, he isn't throwing a tantrum.

He's actually being very civil about it all. He's just doing everything ELSE except that.

Yes, like most parents/caretakers of small children, I find myself laughing on the inside and trying to keep a straight face in front of him.

His single-mindedness is breathtaking. However, I've been an auntie a lot longer than him. His mother, my niece, had these same moments, and it's hilarious to see the similarities in the two.

My point today, is that there are days I wish I could stand irretractably and declare, "No! I am not doing this today!" And not throw a tantrum in the process. Just decide that, nope, I'm doing everything ELSE except what you want.

Unfortunately, life dictates that I must adult on these days. And, just like with him, life wins.

My Heart Will Go On (Part 1)...

I have the cutest little nephew.  He is 2, and has his own personality and intelligence.  I make sure that I spend as much time with him as I can.  It made me realize that I needed to start planning ahead, look towards my future and his.  So, in an effort to be around to see him walk across the graduation stage, and other lifetime memories, I am getting healthy: fiscally, physically and emotionally.

Emotionally, it means spending more time in God's presence. Letting go of past hurts and things that have blocked me.

It also meant doing some things I don't necessarily like or enjoy: turning down my favorite foods (french fries!) and sweeets (bye Skittles, so long, Snickers), eating healthier (put the Coca-Cola down, girl!), drinking more water, walking/exercising, and (shudder) - going to the doctor.

<<<<grooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn>>>>

Right.

So today, was the 2nd part of the dr's visit I had on yesterday.  After a 45-minute SNAFU, I finally get in for the ultrasound and EKG (called an echo for short). The very nice young lady who was the Radiology Technician, talked me through the procedure while she was doing it.

It was, in a word, amazing.

She started to hit some keys and, BOOM: there it was, my living, pumping, heart onscreen.  Blood flowing in, blood pumping out.  Fragile, but tough.

What amazed me is our discussion about the heart.  She said, "How people can look at this, and not believe that God doesn't exist."

AH! A Believer!!!

She said, "it's a wonder why we say 'oh, you broke my heart' and it's probably the strongest living organ in the body.  With all of the beats and work it does, keeping the blood flowing through your body, how can you let one insignificant person make you believe that they have THAT much power over you?"

She was right. We talked about that for a few minutes, and then it dawns on me:  how many times do we talk about someone having broken our "heart"?  After watching my heart on this computer, I began to realize, that's not a true statement anymore.

People may have hurt your feelings, wounded your pride, made you think that you weren't good enough.  But they did NOT break your heart.

The truth was pumping right in front of me.

To those of you that are suffering from a "broken" heart, may I suggest this:  take back your power. You don't have to STAY there.  If it's not working for you...leave. You'll be alright.  They will, too.

I have to allow God to lead the man that he can entrust that kind of power to, to find me.  I still believe in Love, despite what I've been through.  No one has the power to take that away from me. I'll be wiser next time.

This is a two-part series...the second will be later on this evening.  Take care, sweeties!!

Remember: Love God, Love your family and friends, Love this Planet He's blessed us with.  But most important: Love Yourself.

It's About Time

Since this the first day of new things, I figured: start it off right!  I know Ray Charles said that the "night time is the right time, to be with the one you love."

Love you, Ray...but I beg to differ.

Morning time is the right time for me, to be with the One I Love.

Worshipped with God for about an hour.  Whoever said we can't talk to Him, needs to have their head examined.  He talks to us, daily.  Whether we choose to listen - is our problem.

Today, I was listening. While I'm in the listening mode, He gave good instructions, and will incorporate them into daily life.

Then, I made my requests known. Had a few. My faith is that He will do what He said He would do.

Then, I listened to some music and entered my meditation time. So good.  Checked the clock, still had about 15 minutes.  Listen to some more worship music.

Got up, got myself together, got my lunch ready (saving money and eating healthier), walked out the door on time. In the car, put on some praise music, and car-danced all the way to work.  Got here early.

Already 9:00 a.m., but I feel as if the best part of my day has passed, and the rest is speeding by.

My time with God? Well-spent.

When my time with God is the best part of my day, everything else is smooth-sailing and fast-moving.

So, I say to you today - make it about your time with Him.

An Open Letter of Forgiveness

To Mr. Whateva: (you know who you are)

I forgive you.

For all the times I was there when you needed a listening ear, someone to go off the rails with, someone to laugh with, talk to, and remind you of the Plan of God for your life.

I forgive you.

For the times when I came out and supported you when you were doing amazing work in the community.

I forgive you.

For not thinking I was important enough to introduce to your family and friends.

I forgive you.

For allowing you space in my heart.

I forgive you.

For being important to me.

I forgive you.

For loving you. ( yep, that was a hard one to admit. even for me)


To my readers:
God tells us we are to forgive those who mistreat us and spitefully use us.  He also said for us to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Nowhere in the Word does He allow for the continued mistreatment.

That's why I checked out of our "whatever". You can't call it a relationship - it would mean that there were two people wholly involved - and this was not the case.  Can't call it a friendship: because a friend would never treat someone that way. Both of these "ships" have reciprocity - the understanding that what is received is also given with no strings attached.

Forgiveness means that "I'm letting you go to bring me peace."

And that is exactly what I'm doing.

Did I want more from him? Yes. Was I willing to settle for less? Yes.

So, to myself, I also say:  I forgive you.

(tears were spilled during the writing of this entry)

Better Late Than Never

Okay, so I've slacked off a little in keeping the blog going.

But here is a thought for the evening: if God, in His infinite widom, knows EVERYTHING that has happened, is happening now, and will happen in the future....why do we stress so much?

I am going lay my anxiety about "the next step" down, and dance like nobody's watching and enjoy the life He's given me...and I'm glad I got this on my mind now...like I said, better late than never.

Good night, and God Bless!

Come On, People!

Normally, I don't talk about some things I see on FB, since some of them don't bear repeating.  But in this instance, I will make an exception.

My cousin posted a video to FB, that showed two female TEACHERS (yes, TEACHERS) duking it out in the hallways of a school.  The reason: one teacher slept with the other one's husband, and she found out about it - hence the fight video.  He said, and I quote:  "we gotta do better".

SMDH....sigh...and Amen.

Really, ladies?

First of all, I'm going for the example aspect.  We talk about these young girls swinging and throwing hands over these ig'nant little boys, but then: where do they learn this from?

Exactly.

Second of all: WHO was this paragon of a man, that had these two women choosing to go to their place of employment to confront each other of their shared connection? Lemme tell you this - to any man that steps over here and wants to be with me:  if you feel the need to cheat....LEAVE.  I'll be alright. You might get the stinky eye from me for a minute, but I'll. Get. Over. You. Trust. And. Believe. That.  To this "virtuous" man: karma is a bitch in heels, and she will have her day of vengeance.

Third, ladies, where is your pride, dignity, self-respect that you let this PIECE of a man reduce you to this foolishness?  You're more than likely out of a job, no income, reputation in pieces, and for what? A man that will probably drop both of you, and move on to the next one? Puh-leeze - I'd rather be single and happy than together and miserable.

To my brothers: DO BETTER.  If you know you don't want to be with her, hurt her now and walk away, than stay and cause irreparable damage to her and her life. Don't drag your insecurities into the relationship and then pass them off on her...that's just WRONG.

To my sisters: DO BETTER.  Not every man cheats.  Wait to see what kind of man you're dealing with before you get that deeply involved.  A man will tell you who he is and is not.  Give him time.  And if you aren't 100% sure, DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!!!  I'm all for marriage, but you gotta give you and him time to know each other.  Make this man COURT you (I'll deal with that on another post), make him understand that you are valuable and so is your time, and make this man see that if he does you wrong - there are repercussions to his actions.

Divorce is at an all-time high because we don't communicate with each other, we don't take the time to love each other, we don't even take the time to LEARN each other.

We. Must. Do. BETTER!

Going Wrong to Get It Right

This was my scripture this morning: Romans 11:17-21 

17 But if some of the branches were broken off, and you Gentiles, being like a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among them to share with them the rich root of the olive tree 18 do not boast over the broken branches (the Jews) and exalt yourself at their expense. If you do boast and feel superior, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root that supports you. 19 You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” 20 That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand by your faith as believers understanding the truth of Christ’s Godhood. Do not be conceited, but rather, stand in great awe of God and fear Him 21 for if God did not spare the natural branches because of unbelief, He will not spare you either.

It's funny - we think that in order to succeed and be successful, every little thing must go our way.

Sorry to burst your bubble:  NOT!

Lemme explain. 

The scriptures you see here, let us know that God's own people had to be moved out of the way so that the rest of the world could partake in salvation.  It sounds kinda bad, doesn't it?  What parent would move their own child, that they love, out of the way for someone else's child to be blessed? Paul said that the branches of the Israelites were broken off so that we could be grafted in.  It was our faith in God that allowed us to be grafted in.

God did it for us. And He will keep on doing it.

And even we as Christians, God sometimes has to allow the bad things to happen to us in order for us to get to the good.  Sometimes, we have to get a "no" or "not yet", before we hear a "yes".  How else would we recognize good if we didn't encounter the bad?  Sometimes we have to go through in order to get out. And sometimes, we have to fall to know we can fly.  We'd never praise Him or thank Him if it always went our way.  

An old gospel song says it like this: "God has not promised me sunshine, that's not the way it's going to be, but a little rain, mixed with God's own sunshine, a little pain, makes me appreciate the good times."

My message to you today is this:  praise Him for being able to recognize the wrong, the bad, and the mess.  If you can see it, you'll know to pray.  And understand, you'll get through it all if your focus remains on Him.  Then He can take you to the good.