Cleaning House!!!

February 1, 2016 (this is a long one, y'all)

I spent the weekend doing something that was long overdue... I threw out old stuff, papers, bills, notices, notes.  I got under my bed, in my closet, dresser drawers, etc. and I threw away some unnecessary things, papers, clothes I couldn't wear.  Just....stuff I didn't need any longer.

Why you doing all this cleaning, girl? you may be wondering.

I have a very dear friend, and she said something to me that was very true, and that, up until that point, I had never realized about myself.  She said, "When your mind is cluttered, so is your desk, your room, your car, your house.  When you get clear about what you want and where you want to be, you'll clean from top to bottom everything that was cluttered AROUND you.  It's okay, it just means you're dealing with the mess you made and you're ready to solve the problem."

Well, after the past week, I was definitely in that headspace.  I'd gotten clear of a relationship that, in a word, was not HEALTHY for my peace of mind.

Let the clutter commence.

I lived in this state of confusion and cluttered headspace for about a year, simply because it was how I felt the ENTIRE time - confused.  I felt moments, here and there, of clarity, but for the most part - I was left scratching my head.  I was...lost.

My space was looking like my mind felt.  To be truthful, it was of my own doing.  I welcomed the relationship, and made every effort to (attempt to) absorb it into my life.

Has your car ever made this sound: "click-click-click" when you turn the key?  Usually it means your battery is dead, and the "click-click-click" is the attempt the starter (ignition) is making to get the engine to fire up and turn over.

The problem?  No juice coming from the battery for the fire.

Try as I might, NOTHING I did made this relationship turn over and start.  No juice. (sigh)

So, if I made the mess of things with this person, I needed to be the one to clear it up, completely. Not an easy task, and I'm still feeling the repercussions of it.  It did cost me.

However, it was when I finally understood that it was time to make a clean break, it was also time for me to take a CLEAN break.  So, I made up my mind:  this weekend, everything that had clogged and cluttered my car, my room, my space...needed to be cleared and aired out.

I started at 11 p.m. Friday night, and ended at 10 p.m. Sunday night (with a church break or two in between!).  I went through piles and piles of unopened mail. Notes that I was keeping for a rainy day. Journals, notebooks, novels I intended to read. Just...ugh!....stuff!  Some was necessary, some was simply trash.  But I went through it ALL.

Yes, it took that long.  Yes, I had THAT much clutter in my (very limited) space.  Yes, I have dealt with it.  It was not easy, it took some manhours to get it done, but now, I have more space that I ever thought I could.  Sometimes, it takes us to get rid of physical clutter, to help you get rid of mental clutter.

There are things, habits, mindsets, all kinds of stuff that once you open the closet door come spilling out, and the longer it's been there, the harder it is to deal with it.  And most of it is you simply coming to terms with those items, and you MUST choose to keep it or discard it.  I had several bags of trash to throw out, physically.  While I was dealing with those trash bags, I had time to think about what I needed to eliminate out of my headspace: old habits, unhealthy habits, limiting habits, lazy habits, negative mindsets, emotional baggage - all that (beep) needed to go.  This part takes longer, and it is DEFINITELY ongoing.  But I feel better that I got started.

The funny part of all this:  my Sunday School lesson that I taught:  Lazarus coming out of the grave, from death to life.  Jesus's final words to him:  loose that man and let him go!!!  As a minster friend has always said about negative stuff:  "Loose here!"

I believe it is time for me (and if by chance you've been led to read this, YOU TOO) to deal with the bags and baggage of our headspace, keep the parts that need to be kept, and toss the stuff that is not important anymore and let it go and FREE YOUR MIND.  I felt better when I did.  You will, too.

My next step: get ORGANIZED...(gosh, guess I'm on a roll...)