I like to laugh and be funny. I like the clapback portion of events. I like giving the witty and clever comeback line. It's one of my more charming traits.
One of my friends told me that right now, I am on 0 chill, because of the debate and the trumping of Orange satan.
Which is true, I am very geeked about it. I have not held back shade or tea. I have been quite vocal about certain current events, even on this blog and elsewhere on social media.
But what happens when well-meaning humor and shade-throwing descends into degradation, embarrassment and humiliation? What happens when funny starts being malicious?
How far is too far? Do we even know if we've gone too far?
Case in point: the Miss Universe contestant who was dragged publicly for gaining weight while during her reign. Now we find out she had an eating disorder. And the words that were thrown at her during this time were hurtful, malicious and straight out wrong. Is the person who made these remarks to her, who we want sitting in the most powerful seat in the world?
I know what it's like to be embarrassed by someone pointing out my foibles, mistakes and ineptitude.
In public. In front of 40+ people. Loud, and very pointedly.
The person who did it, wanted to make me an example. And she did so, very vocally, to the point, ya'll I had to go in the bathroom and cry and ask God to help me please.
Why? Because one part of me was sooooo embarrassed, I never wanted to show my face again. And the rowdy part of me wanted to toss caution to the wind and give her....well, you know....THE BUSINESS! I think that was the part I was praying more for, so I would keep my cool.
The outcome? Let's just say that karma will run you over, in the end.
Two weeks later, she made the recommendation that cost me my job.
But it paled in comparison, to what happened to her and her family. I would never wish what happened to her, on my worst enemy. I don't work like that. That does not make me happy, and I didn't rejoice in it. I prayed for her. To this day, I still pray for her and her family.
I speak on some things, hold my peace in others. I will comment here and there.
For me, you get dragged when what you've done has caused HARM to those that I love, or who are DEFENSELESS. Don't bring kids and the elderly into this.
And if you're wrong, you're just wrong.
If you want correction, go to God, and ask Him for it. He will be more than happy to do it for you. Ask me how I know.
Some of the most painful lessons I learned were when God had to show me my errors through my embarrassment, my pride, my shooting off my mouth when not needed or necessary (especially when I was pointing out others' errors).
But when correction came, it made me understand that I could have all the fun I wanted, but in the end, what matters is how I made someone feel. And if it were caused by my words and actions, then I needed to deal with what was missing in me that made me do it, say it, or speak it.
Ladies and gentlemen, your words count. They can maim, they can cut, they wound and bruise. Take some time, and reflect on what you say. Think, then speak.
And sometimes, you don't need to comment on every. Little. Thing.
Hard lesson learned.
IJS
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